you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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