I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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