Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
