Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Someone came in the potted fern
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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