I wish I could teleport
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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