Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
