How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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