Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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