What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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