It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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