We got so high we made milksteak
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
