omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
