You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
