Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
