I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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