omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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