Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
