Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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