its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
