im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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