i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
