Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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