Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize