Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (105) Good night (39422) Bad night (2206)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  tasteful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked (1-812): tasteful. http://tfl.nu/syjz
  Replies (17) Good night (4575) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke. http://tfl.nu/z4fd
  Replies (19) Good night (6761) Bad night (1754)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount! http://tfl.nu/fchz
  Replies (7) Good night (9016) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch. http://tfl.nu/snc7
  Replies (10) Good night (4863) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked. http://tfl.nu/aika
  Replies (14) Good night (978) Bad night (4041)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating. http://tfl.nu/3b9t
  Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success. http://tfl.nu/hp4n
  Replies (5) Good night (2358) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture. http://tfl.nu/r7xe
  Replies (13) Good night (2232) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often. http://tfl.nu/0pbg
  Replies (3) Good night (1861) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/wazh
  Replies (5) Good night (1357) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (+42): View more from

  I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+42): I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico. http://tfl.nu/klt7
  Replies (0) Good night (702) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay? http://tfl.nu/lfht
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen http://tfl.nu/sl3q
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?" http://tfl.nu/fy3b
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (217)

Randomize