what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
