I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?