Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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  (440): that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water... http://tfl.nu/dw5a
  Replies (12) Good night (753) Bad night (4226)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

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  (910): just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics http://tfl.nu/3wmw
  Replies (68) Good night (10958) Bad night (2607)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.

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  (860): I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage. http://tfl.nu/q50p
  Replies (17) Good night (4476) Bad night (2070)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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  (615): I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us. http://tfl.nu/3t30
  Replies (24) Good night (7753) Bad night (1155)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis

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  (214): Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis http://tfl.nu/ji20
  Replies (4) Good night (1605) Bad night (952)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

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  (573): What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important. http://tfl.nu/vy7b
  Replies (19) Good night (757) Bad night (5044)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us

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  (913): i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us http://tfl.nu/7y99
  Replies (6) Good night (608) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?

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  (920): Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night? http://tfl.nu/ykmq
  Replies (4) Good night (719) Bad night (789)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night

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  (401): I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/cz9o
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.

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  (512): There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls. http://tfl.nu/qrvu
  Replies (6) Good night (1551) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  Omg so it's educational?

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  (802): There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking (1-802): Omg so it's educational? http://tfl.nu/zo1h
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.

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  (940): I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect. http://tfl.nu/o532
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.

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  (239): The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die. http://tfl.nu/hid4
  Replies (15) Good night (610) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.

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  (707): Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old. http://tfl.nu/gi35
  Replies (5) Good night (333) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then

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  (925): Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then http://tfl.nu/ta2x
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (255)

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