Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
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well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.