I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
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