I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Non-Jews are for practice
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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