So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
