You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think im going to throw up on grandma
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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