I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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