Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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