It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
