Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
