I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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