I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
