we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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