quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
