Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
