I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
