he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
