Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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