I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
