There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
sex in a hospital.. check
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.