Texts From Last Night

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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important

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  (780): Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important http://tfl.nu/ydfw
  Replies (19) Good night (2605) Bad night (677)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

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  (985): i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not. http://tfl.nu/eg76
  Replies (54) Good night (3014) Bad night (655)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.

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  (832): Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/8o52
  Replies (17) Good night (765) Bad night (6679)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

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  (405): I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/pkl3
  Replies (20) Good night (5987) Bad night (670)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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  (732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4
  Replies (67) Good night (6950) Bad night (1067)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how

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  (954): i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how http://tfl.nu/jixl
  Replies (15) Good night (1040) Bad night (3589)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident

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  (615): all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident http://tfl.nu/nfc5
  Replies (11) Good night (889) Bad night (4515)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.

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  (269): I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/pf1i
  Replies (6) Good night (2911) Bad night (894)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.

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  (937): Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/4hwq
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (610)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...

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  (803): He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is... http://tfl.nu/usg6
  Replies (3) Good night (592) Bad night (312)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.

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  (774): In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/mh8s
  Replies (7) Good night (899) Bad night (396)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so

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  (816): Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so http://tfl.nu/0hmc
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (287)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.

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  (540): I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism. http://tfl.nu/6sut
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (283)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor

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  (205): he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/c6qy
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (398)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".

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  (+61): You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering". http://tfl.nu/uajx
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (246)

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