Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting

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(703): View more from Virginia

Too much gin, very little bucket

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(417): View more from Missouri

Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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(206): View more from Washington

My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea

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(304): View more from West Virginia

1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home

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