ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life