Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

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  (507): I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today http://tfl.nu/y9fa
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (1274) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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  (440): My astrological sign? Vagitarius. http://tfl.nu/0z0j
  Replies (20) Good night (3455) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.

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  (313): I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before. http://tfl.nu/lr8m
  Replies (14) Good night (1554) Bad night (3334) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.

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  (785): First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success. http://tfl.nu/aon2
  Replies (13) Good night (5823) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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  (253): Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/3nnr
  Replies (37) Good night (1041) Bad night (5269) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break

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  (214): She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break http://tfl.nu/bh5f
  Replies (8) Good night (1177) Bad night (3862)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.

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  (970): Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well. http://tfl.nu/7lfy
  Replies (20) Good night (7262) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.

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  (321): I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/ccnb
  Replies (13) Good night (3402) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.

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  (919): I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process. (1-919): Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/dsex
  Replies (3) Good night (4216) Bad night (734)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.

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  (231): You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked. http://tfl.nu/mtva
  Replies (4) Good night (2157) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

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  (+44): he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess. http://tfl.nu/epre
  Replies (10) Good night (1913) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.

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  (587): It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse. http://tfl.nu/f8ym
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  sex in a tree stand. check.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  you lucky bastard

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  (317): sex in a tree stand. check. (765): you lucky bastard http://tfl.nu/avsw
  Replies (8) Good night (1756) Bad night (574)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

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  (740): omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause. http://tfl.nu/xm5u
  Replies (4) Good night (1281) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.

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  (407): I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so. http://tfl.nu/va18
  Replies (6) Good night (820) Bad night (387)

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