the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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