I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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