Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
