he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
