There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
