i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
