The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
