I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
