We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
