hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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