i don't plan on having that self control this summer
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
just found out that she named her cat after me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
