awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
