is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Found the puke drawer
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
