I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
