Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
