I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
