I must be too annoying 4 u.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
