Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
