I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
